A few lifetimes ago I came across NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) It was one of my first blushes with coach training.
At that time I had no idea that I would journey into coaching professionally. At the time all I had wanted to achieve was to learn ways to be a better manager, a better human being, and to calm the anxieties that were constantly flaring throughout my body and my being.
I was really just looking for ways to cope in a life that felt demanding, complicated and overwhelming.
In NLP I came across a number of presuppositions that started the wheel of transformation in my life. They helped and are continuing to help me make my way towards equilibrium, peace and calm.
A presupposition is just a fancy way of saying that you presume something to be true and correct. I’ve since dropped the term presupposition and adopted the term ‘success-minded principles’. This works for me and when I feel the anxiety snaking up around my throat, one of the things I turn to is my Success-minded principles.
Today, the one that’s been teasing at the edges of my mind is the principle that says ‘You cannot not communicate’.
It simply means that you are in a permanent state of communication; with your words, with your attitude, with your physicality, with your energy. And your communication always has consequences. It’s like a spark that energises a sequence of chemical reactions within you that results in you taking action that impacts you and others alike.
The fascinating thing to me is that the person with whom you’re in communication with the most, is YOURSELF! Besides that fact that you may be speaking to yourself out loud, you’re also burning through 60 000 to 80000 thoughts per day. Can you imagine each thought being a person and in a day these are the number of people you’re hanging out with! That’s insane!
Here’s the real challenge, 95% of all our thoughts are repetitive thoughts. More problematically though, 80% of all our thoughts are negative disempowering thoughts that take you away from growth, courage, opportunities and your potential.
In my estimation, one of the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT investments YOU CAN EVER MAKE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE is to become a vigorous guardian of your thoughts. To become aware of them. To see them. To hear the. To bear witness to their impact on your life. To repair them when they wound you and take you away from your highest self.
I strongly subscribe to the belief that the company you keep shape your reality and your destiny. And if the company you keep is not helping you create the life experience you’re yearning for, you absolutely have to change the company you keep. This might not be comfortable, but it is essential. Crucial.
And this includes the companionship you offer yourself. Whether it be with your thoughts or you spoken word. YOU are the BIGGEST INFLUENCER IN YOUR LIFE. Yes, YOU.
And if something is not working in your life right now, drop in on your thoughts.
Evaluate what impact they are having on your life. See them for what they are. Consider whether you would offer these thoughts as gifts to someone you love. If not, start the journey of relieving yourself of their toll on your life, your heart, your mind, your relationships with yourself and others.
If you would like you become clearer on how to do this, I’d like to invite you to start by taking the How much of a perfectionist are you quiz. It’s going to help you to hear yourself and to discover the thoughts that reveal the relationship you have with yourself. It will help you to see the path to a healing, nurturing relationship with yourself. It will help you to heal and nurture relationships with others. I make no false promise here when I say that it will help you change the world.