Why so many capable adults don’t know what they feel until it spills out and spills over others “How are you?” A simple question.A normal question.A socially acceptable little ping between humans. And yet sometimes, when someone asks me this, my system behaves like I’ve been handed an exam paper in a language I never […]
There’s a moment in my work that I’ve come to recognise. It’s the moment where someone realises this is not about what they thought it was about. It usually comes quietly. Not with drama.Not with a breakthrough declaration.Just a soft, almost reluctant recognition. “Oh… it’s me.” I was working with a woman who could not […]
Last week’s post on resistance stirred something. My inbox told the story. Messages arrived from people who recognised themselves in that tight, foggy space where you know something is happening inside you but you cannot name it yet. The relief came not from fixing it, but from realising, “Oh. I am not broken. I am […]
For a long time, I thought resistance was the thing standing between me and momentum. If I could just get past it, push through it, out-think it, or out-discipline it, then things would move. But working with leaders has changed how I see this. Deeply. Repeatedly. Almost reverently. Resistance isn’t the opposite of momentum.It’s often […]
The day imposter syndrome disappears entirely
may be the day we stop growing
and start merely existing.
Regulation isn’t intellectual.
And it isn’t about control.
It’s about connection.
You may going ‘well duh’. But for me, this was revolutionary!
The nervous system doesn’t speak English… or Afrikaans… nor isiXhosa or isiZulu.
It speaks sensation.
It is felt.
Most of us don’t start the year empty. We start with a whisper of hope. A quiet, persuasive “maybe this is the year”. A tug of desire, barely audible under the weight of duty and doubt. But here’s the thing: A strong start to the year is not about doing everything at once. It’s about building […]
Every Tuesday, I add a new blog. It’s not so much that I’ve run out of words. It’s more that I want to spend time tuning inward to listen. So this is not a blog.It’s a pause.A place to stand still long enough to notice who you’ve become. For the next three newsletters, we are […]
“You do not have to be grateful for the experience to be grateful for who you became because of it.” – Safiyyah There is a quiet revolution that happens when a person learns to love what is. Not the fantasy. Not the future version of themselves they keep postponing their joy for. Not the edited […]
Gratitude is powerful. But let’s be honest. Many of us were trained into gratitude as a kind of performance; a way to seem fine, stay agreeable, and silence the emotional truths that might make others uncomfortable. We learned to use gratitude as a buffer, not a bridge. So instead of gratitude opening our hearts, it […]