There’s a reason the idea of balance feels so slippery—like something just out of reach. We’re told to chase it as if it’s a formula, a destination, a virtue. But if you’ve lived through even one demanding season—be it motherhood, work stress, caregiving, healing, or simply holding space for everyone else—you know balance doesn’t live where they say it does.
Balance implies symmetry. Precision. The neat division of energy, time, and emotion.But life isn’t a spreadsheet. It’s a mosaic. And wholeness—not balance—is the truer pursuit.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott

Wholeness Embraces Complexity

There are seasons in life that require more of you than seems fair. Times when you can barely hear yourself think, let alone meditate, journal, exercise, reply, rest, or plan.
This isn’t failure. It’s reality.
And still, the pressure persists—to hold it all together, to not drop a ball, to keep smiling.
But what if the goal isn’t to balance every demand?What if the invitation is to accept the season you’re in, honour the truth of your capacity, and choose what matters most—without guilt?
We often suffer not because we’re doing too much—but because we’re resisting what is.
When we stop resisting, we create space to actually see ourselves. And from that space, we can ask better questions. Not: “How do I balance it all?” but:
“What do I most need right now, and how can I honour that need with love?”

“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.” – Sophia Bush

As Within, So Without

When we are disconnected from ourselves, everything feels heavier. But when we know what our true priorities are—and when we ourselves are among those priorities—clarity begins to emerge. Alignment becomes possible. And even the most demanding days feel less chaotic because we are no longer abandoning ourselves in the process.
Self-responsibility, then, becomes sacred.It’s not about fixing everything—it’s about being with everything. Kindly. Courageously.
And that brings us to the quiet, revolutionary act of rest.

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass… is by no means a waste of time.” – John Lubbock

Rest Is Not Optional—It’s Vital

Rest isn’t a reward for good behaviour. It’s not something you earn after doing everything else. Rest is the very thing that makes showing up possible.
But rest is often misunderstood. It isn’t just sleep or doing nothing. Sometimes, rest is pulling away from noise. Sometimes, it’s allowing yourself to not be useful. Sometimes, it’s saying no. Sometimes, it’s not answering the phone.
It’s not about symmetry in time. It’s about meeting needs.And to do that, you have to actually notice what’s needed.
Living well isn’t about “balancing” every obligation—it’s about being in honest relationship with yourself. Listening. Noticing. Trusting. It’s about creating space to experience the life you are actually living, instead of constantly reacting to it.
If you’d like a deeper dive into what rest really means, I explore it in my post on the 7 Types of Rest.

“Balance is not better time management, but better boundary management.” – Betsy Jacobson

A Holistic Frame: The Healthy Mind Platter

Dr. Dan Siegel and David Rock’s Healthy Mind Platter offers a compassionate and comprehensive view of what a well-nourished mind needs:
Focus Time – Deep, purposeful attention
Play Time – Creative expression and spontaneity
Connection Time – With self, others, nature
Physical Time – Movement and body awareness
Time In – Reflection and mindfulness
Down Time – Stillness and unstructured space
Sleep Time – Deep rest and integration
These are not luxuries. They are psychological nutrients. And just like the body, the mind thrives when it is fed consistently and compassionately—not perfectly.
You don’t need to do more. You need to listen more deeply to what you truly need.

Self-Compassion: The Ground You Stand On

So much of our suffering comes not from what’s happening, but from how we speak to ourselves about what’s happening.
We internalise guilt for not doing enough. We judge ourselves for needing rest. We silence our own needs to keep the peace.
But when we soften, something shifts.
Self-compassion is not weakness. It’s strength without force. It’s what transforms discipline into devotion. It’s what allows boundaries to feel like protection instead of punishment. It’s what lets us choose rest without shame.
When you include yourself in your circle of compassion, you stop performing for worthiness and start living from it.

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho

Boundaries: Where Wholeness Becomes Practice

Boundaries are not walls. They are invitations—to yourself and others—to engage more honestly, more lovingly.
They’re how we stop the silent self-betrayals. How we say: “This is what I need to feel safe, whole, and real.”
So many of us are burnt out not because of what we’re doing, but because of what we’re tolerating. All the ways we whisper yes when our bodies say no. All the places where our energy leaks from being endlessly accessible.
Boundaries are how we care for the parts of us we’ve spent years ignoring.
They’re not just about others. They’re about staying loyal to ourselves.

Wholeness Isn’t Something You Find. It’s Something You Choose.

This week, I’m not inviting you to “balance” your life. I’m inviting you to be in relationship with your life.
To honour the reality of your current season.To notice the needs you’ve been overriding.To speak to yourself with more grace.To choose rest before collapse.To let boundaries be a source of peace, not fear.
Wholeness is not perfection. It’s presence.It’s self-commitment.It’s your choice to live from love—not just for others, but for you.
Let this be your week to come home to yourself.

Booklist for Deeper Integration

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Rest Is Resistance by Tricia Hersey
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Wintering by Katherine May

Playlist: Songs for Wholeness & Return

“Breathe Again” – Sara Bareilles
“A Safe Place to Land” – Sara Bareilles & John Legend
“This is Me” – Keala Settle (The Greatest Showman)
“I Am Light” – India Arie
“Rise Up” – Andra Day

YouTube Resources

Tara Brach – The Sacred Pause
Dr. Dan Siegel – The Healthy Mind Platter Explained
Brené Brown – The Power of Vulnerability
Tricia Hersey – Rest as Resistance | TEDxAtlanta
Nedra Tawwab – Set Boundaries, Find Peace