“Success is not about how things look to others. It’s about how they feel to you.”
– Brianna Wiest
This week, we’re pulling back the curtain on a hard truth: you can be impressive and still feel completely hollow inside. You can do all the right things, hit all the right markers, and still feel like something’s missing. This week’s theme is not just a blog – it’s a reckoning. A gentle one, but real nonetheless.
You’ve been exploring self-leadership this month, and it would be incomplete if we didn’t pause to ask: who’s driving all this effort? And at what cost?
You can be impressive and still empty as hell.
You can be applauded by the world while ignored by yourself.
You can hit every goal, meet every deadline, manage every schedule, and still feel like you’re slowly disappearing from your own life.
We’ve been taught that success is the reward for effort. That fulfillment will arrive once we’ve done enough, earned enough, proved enough. So we push and perform and polish… and somewhere along the way, we lose ourselves.
You don’t need to be told to work harder. You already do that.
What you might need is the permission to stop.
To feel.
To ask: Where am I in all of this?
Because success without self is a slow kind of starvation. And you deserve better than that.
This is where the conversation deepens:
What lives in you, lives through you.
Whether you’re leading a team, a family, a business, or just trying to keep your own life afloat — your internal world becomes your external influence.
If you are brittle and burnt out inside, that’s what leaks out. If you’re disconnected from your joy, your enoughness, your presence — it affects everything you touch.
Leadership, at every level, begins with self. And you set the tone. Even when you don’t mean to.
So if you’ve found yourself constantly exhausted, endlessly busy, quietly numb — this is your sign to pause.
To remember that:
- You were not made to survive on praise and pressure.
- You were not born to become a machine.
- Your wholeness matters more than your image.
So what does it take to return to yourself?
It starts with these questions:
- Do I like my life?
- What do I long for?
- Where am I chasing worth instead of cultivating connection?
And what does it require?
- Softness.
- Stillness.
- Surrender.
- And above all, honesty.
Because wholeness isn’t a performance. It’s a practice.
And power? It’s not about getting others to comply or admire you. Power is the quiet, unwavering relationship you have with yourself. It’s your ability to stay with yourself — through pain, through joy, through change — and lead from truth.
Let’s not forget:
🌸 You can only lead as deeply as you’ve met yourself.
🌸 You can only hold space for others if you’ve created space for yourself.
🌸 What lives in you, lives through you.
This is what it means to be a self-led woman. A self-connected woman. A culture-shaping woman.
Let it begin with tenderness.
Small Shifts for Big Magic:
- Quit the gratitude list if it’s bypassing what is real. Make room for grief.
- Replace “I’m fine” with “I’m figuring things out.”
- Rest without apology. You are not a machine.
- Reclaim your mornings. One hour belongs to you.
- Trade in high performance for deep presence.
- Speak your desires aloud, even if only to yourself.
- Journal this: Where am I performing instead of connecting?
- Turn off your camera and cry if you need to. Your humanity matters.
- Make a joy list and check it more than your to-do list.
- Start noticing where you’re already leading beautifully — even in the smallest ways.
Reading List:
- “The Deepest Well” by Nadine Burke Harris
- “The Body is Not an Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor
- “Braving the Wilderness” by Brené Brown
- “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle
- “Rest is Resistance” by Tricia Hersey
Playlist for Reconnection:
- “Come Home” – OneRepublic
- “Slow Down” – Nichole Nordeman
- “Let It Be” – Labrinth
- “Fields of Gold” – Eva Cassidy
- “As” – Stevie Wonder
- “Who You Are” – Jessie J
- “Rise Up” – Andra Day
- “Don’t Forget Who You Are” – Miles Kane
Final Words:
You can be dazzling and deeply disconnected.
But you don’t have to stay there.
Come back to yourself.
Come back to wholeness.
The applause can wait.
Pause With Me — Power Pause Invitation
If this resonates with you, come exhale with me.
Join me for a Power Pause — a complimentary 60-minute coaching session.
This is not a masterclass. It’s not a webinar.
It’s a sacred space to connect deeply with yourself.
💛 A moment to breathe before the next breakthrough.
💛 A space to witness where you are, without judgment.
💛 A guided pause to check in with your power, your presence, and your path.
Come meet yourself — gently, courageously, completely.
Book your Power Pause here: https://tidycal.com/safiyyah/your-power-pause