In August we worked with anger as clean, clarifying energy. This month we’re using that clarity to meet the habits that keep us in survival mode. First up: over‑functioning.
Why this matters
Over‑functioning is doing for others what they can do for themselves, taking on more than is sustainable, and solving problems at the cost of your health and joy. It often starts as love or responsibility and slowly morphs into resentment, anxiety, and burnout.
Signals you might be over‑functioning
- You are the default fixer, planner, rescuer
- Work expands into evenings and weekends
- Your body carries a low‑grade urgency even when nothing is on fire
- Perfectionism, people‑pleasing, or shape‑shifting show up as “just how I am”
- Boundaries feel leaky or expensive to hold
Under the hood
Over‑functioning is a nervous‑system strategy. It gives a short‑term sense of control and safety while quietly draining your capacity. In my Boundary Archetypes, it often maps to Superwoman, Caretaker, and Chameleon patterns.
What rebalance can look like
Rebalance is not abdication. It is right‑sizing your effort to your values and season. It is redistributing responsibility, trusting other adults with their growth, and letting “good enough” be good.
7 Small Shifts for Big Magic
- Adopt the 80% Rule. Deliver at 80% polish for non‑critical tasks. Use the saved time for recovery or deep work.
- One Less Thing. Remove one task from today’s list or delegate it fully. Do not replace it.
- The No‑Rescue Window. For two hours daily, do not jump in to fix, answer, or advise unless explicitly asked.
- Body Compass Check. Three times a day ask: Tight or open? Act from open, pause when tight.
- Swap “I’ll do it” with “What’s your next step?” Coach, don’t carry. It feels more taxing in the short-term, but creates capacity in the long-term. It also demonstrates belief in them and a willingness to invest in them and in a culture of accountability.
- Pre‑decide a Boundary Sentence. “Thanks for thinking of me. I’ll come back to you tomorrow.” Then actually come back with a considered yes/no.
- Power Pause. Three minutes, eyes closed, one hand on heart, one on belly. Inhale 4, exhale 6. Ask: What can be simpler?
Book List
- Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle – Emily & Amelia Nagoski
- Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab
- Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less – Greg McKeown
- Drop the Ball – Tiffany Dufu
- The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control – Katherine Morgan Schafler
- Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time – Brigid Schulte
Reflection Prompts
- Where am I solving a problem that is not mine to solve?
- What fear would I need to befriend to step back 10%?
- If I trusted others and time a little more, what would change this week?
Try this
Choose one recurring task to delegate for the next four weeks. Document the handover in a one‑page SOP. Review outcomes weekly without taking the task back. Notice the emotions that arise for you. Chances are that they are more revealing about what keeps you in over-function than anything on the SOP.
Closing
Over‑functioning promises safety and delivers depletion. Rebalance invites shared responsibility, better outcomes, and a kinder relationship with yourself. Choose one small shift today. Let it compound.
The Alchemist’s Map — 6 September
Feeling stretched thin yet made for more? Join me for a live mini-immersion where we’ll connect the dots between stress, boundaries, and your next brave chapter. We’ll plot your current season on The Alchemist’s Map, decode trigger “Guardians” and higher-mind allies, and walk the Power Portal Pathway to turn pressure into power. Expect a gentler pace, a personal map you can use immediately, and one clear step to act on this week.
Book your seat: madeforsomuchmore.my.canva.site/the-alchemist-s-map