February has arrived, and with it, a sense that the year is already running at full speed. I’ve heard people say that 2024 issues are still unresolved while 2025 problems are already knocking at the door. The work piles up, the to-do lists grow longer, and rest feels like a distant luxury. It’s no wonder that, in the chaos, our inner critic has been working overtime.

But here’s the twist: Your inner critic is not your enemy. It’s not a villain lurking in the shadows, waiting to tear you down. It’s actually an overprotective, slightly anxious part of you—trying its best to keep you safe. Think of it like a fretful guardian, constantly scanning for danger, anticipating disappointment, and working overtime to shield you from failure, rejection, and heartache.
This part of you is loving—but uninformed. It doesn’t have all the facts about who you are today, how much you’ve grown, and how many resources and allies you now have. It’s operating on old scripts, written in a time when you needed to stay small, cautious, and hyper-vigilant just to survive.
So, what do we do? We don’t silence it. We don’t conquer it. We relate to it.
We bring it up to speed. We remind it of how far we’ve come, how resilient we are, and how the world, while unpredictable, is not just filled with threats—it’s also filled with possibilities, kindness, and support.
Your inner critic is not trying to hurt you. It’s a hurt part of you, trying to prevent future pain. And what do hurt parts need? Love, assurance, and new perspectives.
So, instead of fighting it, what if we nurtured it? What if we thanked it for its efforts and gently re-mandated, retooled, and upskilled it for the version of you that exists today?

Small Shifts for Big Magic
Here are 10 small shifts that create big magic in how you relate to your inner critic:
- Name it, don’t shame it. Give your inner critic a name and a personality. See it as a part of you, not the whole of you.
- Get curious. When it speaks up, ask, “What are you afraid of? What do you need to feel safe?”
- Reframe its voice. Translate its harsh words into concern: Instead of “You’re not good enough,” hear “I’m scared you’ll fail, and I don’t want you to be hurt.”
- Thank it. Acknowledge that it’s trying to help, even if it’s not going about it in the best way.
- Update it. Gently remind it of your past successes, strengths, and the support system you now have.
- Teach it new skills. Instead of catastrophizing, what if it learned to be a strategic advisor, helping you weigh risks with wisdom instead of fear?
- Breathe. When your critic gets loud, take a deep breath and slow down. Reacting in fear feeds it. Responding with love soothes it.
- Surround yourself with evidence. Keep a folder (physical or digital) of your wins, kind words from others, and moments when you proved yourself wrong.
- Shift its job description. Invite your inner critic to be your inner coach instead—one that empowers rather than diminishes.
- Introduce self-compassion. Next week, we’ll explore how self-compassion is your superpower. For now, try speaking to yourself the way you would a dear friend who is struggling.

Reflective Questions to change the Conversation
You are always in dialogue with yourself. You’re just not always aware of it and often, when you are aware of it, it does not occur to you that you if it does not serve you, you can change it. Here are some questions you can use to notice what conversations you are having with yourself and how to change it to empowering conversations:
- When was the first time you remember hearing your inner critic’s voice?
- What was it trying to protect you from back then?
- What are some ways it has helped you in the past?
- How has the world changed since your inner critic first formed?
- What does your inner critic fear the most?
- How would it feel to respond to your inner critic with gratitude instead of frustration?
- What new role could your inner critic take on in your life?
- How do you know when your inner critic is speaking versus your inner wisdom?
- What’s one thing you could say to your inner critic today to reassure it?
- How would your life change if your inner critic became your inner ally?
Your Inner Critic has been doing its best with the tools it had. But now, you have new tools, new insights, and a deeper understanding of who you are. Instead of fighting it, invite it into the conversation. Show it how much you’ve grown. Introduce it to the version of you that no longer needs to live in survival mode. As you do this, you’re not just taming the Inner Critic—you’re transforming it into a wise and loving ally. And that, dear one, is where the magic begins.