If you struggle with setting boundaries—at work, at home, in your relationships—you’re not alone. Many professional women, especially high achievers and natural nurturers, find themselves overcommitted, undervalued, and stretched thin. They feel taken for granted, frustrated, and exhausted, yet can’t quite pinpoint why they keep saying yes when they mean no.
The answer often lies in an unexpected place: your Inner Critic.
Most people think of the Inner Critic as a harsh, self-sabotaging voice. And while it can sound brutal—convincing you that you’re not enough, that you have to prove yourself, that saying no makes you difficult—it’s actually just a deeply anxious part of you, trying (and failing) to keep you safe.
For many women, the Inner Critic has internalized outdated messages:
- Be accommodating, or you’ll be seen as difficult.
- Work harder than everyone else, or you’ll be overlooked.
- Don’t disappoint others, or you’ll be abandoned.
So, when it comes time to set boundaries, that voice kicks in, making you second-guess yourself. You tell yourself you’ll push through, handle it on your own, or that “it’s just easier this way.” But here’s the hard truth: every time you override your own limits to keep the peace, you teach others that your needs don’t matter.
The Shift: Leading Your Inner Critic, Not Silencing It
Taming your Inner Critic isn’t about “conquering” it. Fighting it only fuels resistance. Instead, it’s about leading it. About teaching it that you are no longer the person who needs to over-function to be valued. That you are safe. That you are strong. That you don’t have to prove your worth through exhaustion.
Here’s how to start shifting this:
- Notice the script. The next time you feel guilty for setting a boundary, pause. Ask yourself: – Whose voice is this? Is this my wisdom speaking, or my fear?
- Challenge the assumption. Instead of assuming “They’ll be upset” or “I have to do this”, ask: “What if they respect me more for being honest?”
- Reframe the fear. Instead of “If I say no, I’ll disappoint them”, try: “If I say no, I create space for what actually aligns with me.”
Boundaries Begin on the Inside
The reality is, the boundaries you struggle with externally are often the ones you haven’t set internally. If you’re constantly explaining, over-delivering, or doing more than your fair share, ask yourself: *Where have I made my needs negotiable?*
Taming your Inner Critic is a radical act of self-leadership. It’s the moment you stop treating yourself as an afterthought—and watch as the world follows suit.
Let’s talk about this. What’s one boundary your Inner Critic has been holding you back from setting?
Feel like you want to expand into a more powerful and empowered relationship with yourself? I am offering 2 Complimentary Power Pause Sessions this week. This is a transformative coaching session to reclaim your energy, realign with your desires, and step forward with clarity and confidence.