Where Are Your Boundaries Leaking?
Ever felt like no matter how much you do, there’s never enough of you to go around? That’s a boundary leak—those invisible gaps where your energy, time, and power slip away, often unnoticed. Unlike blatant boundary violations, leaks are subtle, self-inflicted, and socially reinforced. They leave you feeling drained, resentful, and stretched too thin.
But here’s the truth: boundaries aren’t just about what others do—they’re about what we allow.
How to Spot a Boundary Leak
A boundary leak might sound like:
🚨 “I don’t want to, but I feel bad saying no.”
🚨 “I’ll just do it—it’s easier than explaining why I can’t.”
🚨 “If I set that boundary, they might get upset.”
🚨 “I can rest later. Right now, they need me.”
These leaks create an energy deficit, where you give more than you can afford, leaving little for yourself.
Why Do We Let It Happen?
Boundary leaks aren’t random—they often stem from deeply held beliefs:
❤️🩹 Fear of conflict – Worrying that saying no will lead to disapproval.
❤️🩹 Over-responsibility – Feeling like it’s your job to manage others’ feelings.
❤️🩹 Guilt conditioning – Growing up believing that prioritising yourself is selfish.
❤️🩹 Approval addiction – Confusing worth with how much you do for others.
Recognising these patterns is the first step toward healing them.
Healing Your Boundary Leaks
💚 1. Name It to Tame It – Where do you feel drained or resentful? That’s your clue.
💚 2. Challenge the Leak – What belief keeps this leak open? What are you afraid will happen if you set a boundary?
💚 3. Seal the Leak – Try these small shifts:
✨ Pause before saying yes.
✨ Practice one guilt-free no.
✨ Stop explaining your choices.
✨ Notice where you seek approval instead of alignment.
The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.
Your Boundaries Are a Reflection of Your Self-Trust
Healing your boundary leaks isn’t just about managing others—it’s about healing your relationship with yourself. Every time you override your own needs, silence your inner voice, or push through exhaustion to meet external expectations, you reinforce the belief that you don’t matter as much as everyone else.
But boundaries aren’t walls; they’re bridges—bridges that connect you back to your truth, your self-worth, and your deepest desires.
When you set a boundary, you’re making a profound statement: I trust myself. I trust that my needs are valid. I trust that I don’t have to earn love through overgiving. I trust that my energy, my peace, and my dreams are worth protecting.
And the more you practice honoring your yes and your no, the more you reinforce that trust—until one day, it’s not even a question anymore. You simply are a person who stands in her power, who honors her own rhythm, who leads her life from wholeness rather than depletion.
✨ So ask yourself: If I truly trusted myself, what boundary would I set today?
Because boundary work isn’t just about saying no to others—it’s about finally saying yes to yourself.
📖 Reading List:
- Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab
- The Courage to Be Disliked – Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga
- Daring Greatly – Brené Brown
- The Book of Boundaries – Melissa Urban
🎵 Playlist for Boundary Healing:
- You Don’t Own Me – Lesley Gore
- Stronger – Britney Spears
- Good as Hell – Lizzo
- No – Meghan Trainor
- Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield
- Energy – Beyoncé
Want to cultivate sturdier boundaries, but don’t know where to start?
Book your complimentary Power Pause Coaching session and start your journey to Ease.
