From Not Enough to ‘I Deserve’: Reclaiming Your Power

Have you ever entered a room and immediately felt out of place, as though your very presence required validation from someone else? For many, this feeling isn’t just a momentary discomfort—it’s a way of life. Rooted in “Not Enoughness,” it shows up as a persistent sense of inadequacy that colors everything we do, say, and believe about ourselves.

The truth? You were always “Made for More.” Reclaiming that truth begins with reconnecting to yourself and redefining your worth on your terms.

When we stop betraying ourselves, the world feels less like a place to survive and more like a place to live.

The Core of “Not Enoughness”: Disconnection from Self

At its heart, “Not Enoughness” is a profound disconnection from yourself. It’s the gap between who you are and who you believe you need to be to earn love, success, or belonging. This disconnection creates a life where self-worth is conditional, dependent on external validation, and constantly out of reach.

This disconnection often starts early, through societal messages, cultural conditioning, or even family dynamics. You learn to betray your needs to fit in, to prioritise others’ expectations over your desires, and to silence your inner voice in favour of external approval.

When we lose trust in ourselves, we hand over our belonging to others. We look for it in accolades, relationships, or the elusive “seat at the table,” forgetting that true belonging begins when we walk into any room with our own approval. Without this internal grounding, life becomes a series of exhausting efforts to prove ourselves, leading to anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout.

What Happens When You Feel “Not Enough”?

A life driven by “Not Enoughness” looks like this:

  • Perpetual Overworking: You feel you must always prove your value, leading to exhaustion and burnout.
  • People-Pleasing: Seeking external validation becomes more important than honoring your own needs.
  • Self-Betrayal: You say “yes” when you want to say “no,” reinforcing the belief that your desires don’t matter.
  • Perfectionism and Fear: The fear of being “found out” keeps you stuck, over-analyzing and under-acting.
  • Anxiety and Vigilance: A hyper-awareness of how you’re perceived creates chronic stress and inhibits authentic living.

What Changes When You Feel “Made for More”?

When you step into the truth of being “Made for More,” life transforms:

Creative Freedom: You move from survival to thriving, where you can create and contribute meaningfully.

Self-Trust: You listen to and honour your needs, building an unshakable inner foundation.

Authentic Action: You act boldly, not to prove your worth but because you trust it’s already there.

Inner Safety: You create a comfort zone within yourself, where you can rest, reflect, and dream without fear.

Expansive Relationships: You attract connections that celebrate your fullness, not just your compliance.

The Pivot: From “Not Enough” to “Made for More”

To make this shift, you must reconnect to yourself and rebuild the trust that was lost. This means:

  1. Reclaiming Your Worth: Self-worth is absolute. You don’t have to earn it—it’s inherent. Start affirming this daily.
  2. Rewriting Your Stories: Deservingness is shaped by the stories you tell yourself. Identify and challenge the narratives that say you aren’t enough.
  3. Nurturing Inner Safety: Begin creating a safe space within, where your desires and fears can coexist without judgment.

3 Small Shifts for Big Magic

  1. Self-Compassion Practice: Use Kristin Neff’s self-compassion framework (mindfulness, shared humanity, and self-kindness) to interrupt self-critical thoughts.
    • Example: When you feel inadequate, pause and remind yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way. I am not alone in this experience, and I can be kind to myself right now.”
  2. Parts Integration: Connect with the parts of you that hold feelings of “Not Enoughness.” Recognise them, acknowledge their pain, and invite them into a compassionate dialogue.
  3. Create a Belonging Ritual: Each morning, stand before a mirror and say, “I belong to myself first. I don’t need anyone else’s permission to take up space.”

3 Questions to Reflect On

  1. Where in your life are you over-functioning because you feel like you have to earn your place?
  2. What would change if you trusted yourself completely?
  3. If you were confidently enough, what choices would you make differently?

Final Thoughts

Walking into a room with your own belonging isn’t just a mindset shift—it’s a radical act of reclaiming your power. When you no longer seek permission to exist fully, you become unstoppable. The tables, the rooms, the opportunities—they all shift when you stop waiting and start owning your inherent worth.

You are “Made for More.” Now it’s time to live like it.

If you would like to explore your relationship with your own enoughness, please book your power hour with me and make meaning shift happen.

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